Are you single with a Part-Time Love? Are you still involved emotionally with an ex, not really accepting that it's over, talking about him or her whenever you get the opportunity? Perhaps you're still good friends with all your exes - nothing essentially wrong with that but, if you stop to really think about it, what part in your life are your exes playing? Do they make you feel attractive and needed or are you just being mischievous, believing that they'd still prefer to be with you?
Are you having a secret but exciting flirtation with somebody at work or at the gym, or somebody on the school run? Maybe you're involved with somebody who is married or in a steady long-term relationship of their own.
A Part-Time Love could be an intermittent long-distance relationship, maybe going nowhere in particular, fitting in with business trips, either yours or theirs. It could be a chat room or dating site relationship.
And does your Part-Time Love stop you looking for anything else?
A Part-Time Love might seem to fulfil some of the needs of a relationship by filling your thoughts and satisfying your wish for romance. It might provide you with a warm glow when you meet or talk, so that it all feels a bit like a real and proper relationship. But it is, in fact, just a distraction.
Whenever we have worked with people in this kind of situation they will nearly always say that they are open to other people and the possibility of a genuine full-time relationship. But this is often not the case. Years can go by in this way with hope forever winning over reality.
If any of this rings true for you then maybe you just need to slow right down and take a good look at what's actually going on – it's there whether you look at it or not. Ask yourself how does this really suit you? Are you avoiding something, like a real full-time relationship or facing up to the reality of your situation? As you become aware of what you are actually doing, and why, and how this might be working both for and against you, then you can make choices to change what is going on for you.